so many things happened in the past month. How do i even begin.

lets start from today.

its over!!! haha, know i really shouldnt be feeling this way. guiltily, I admit, its great to be out of the office. especially when you;ve just spent the last week or two doing literally nothing, but being an encumberance. Although i have to admit it was cool while it lasted. Of the week, spent almost 2 full days in court, watched a senior counsel get absoltuely beasted by the judge - and still u tell me in judicial management it never gets personal. Had an amzing lunch in harry Potter Hall of Lincoln's Inn with a long table full of wisecracking public school, oxbridge, poshnoshy white guys, had tea and biscuits in the office of the head chambers in a room with a real fireplace, and where everyone uses fine bone china teacups AND saucers. Attempted to sound smart when I hadn;t a clue what was going in the case discussion. Worst of all, having to make a gazillion minutes of small talk about Christmas - coz I couldnt very well t hink of any thing else vaguely that public school eduicated English guys would be interested in. Hah, at the end of it they must have thought I wa one crzy guirl obsessed with Christmas. yes, a bit insane. having drunk copious amounts of tea and spent hours amusing myself reading cases racking my brain and trying to sound smart, well, its OVER. having said that, its with mroe than a twinge of sadness that I must say I did enjoy it. But the whole exclusivity thing people murmur about outside chambers, sad to say, I feel is true. Much as I find court work immensely intersting, and defintiely stimulating, i consign myself to the sad reality that maybe I just dont have the intellectual capacity, the eloquence, the skin color, or maybe jsut the confidence to attempt trying for it. I am a sucker - I hate failing, and this time the odds just seem way too improbable. If only, my learned friend.

In the week, memories of Amsterdam have steadily been consigned to the dark recesses of my mind. But yes, after liberation, and alot of christmas cheer, it wonderful to look at pictures and reminsce. got an email from a dear old firend couple of days ago, saying just how fun it was. Yes, it was, I wont even bother putting it in words. But sometimes, more than ever, its at Christmas, and when the air is thick with the yuletide cheer that you really realise what a great time you are having and what great friends you have. WooT wooT!!!

Last two weeks of school was jsut plain insane to put it mildy. There was the barrel, which somehow seemed alot more fun last year than it did this year. maybe its just because I havent actually been involving myself that much in the whole rugby scene this year - couple of newbies that I dont really know - everyone not really hanging out together ,much, more work and fewer walkabout nights. I even missed the infamous barrel run where they ran down to kings along the strand and supposedly casused more tha n $30,000 pounds of criminal damage and punched a teacher. I wish I'd cut out the Guardian report on that.

Birthday was on the 28th, thanks so much for everyone who made it extra special. The girls who came down to London the week after to celebrate mine and nolly's. you guys are the best girlfriends in the world. I know I;m just really really busy, never go on msn, always somewhere running all over the place. But it just means so much that u guys are always there to just be there. I wouldn't trade you all for anyting in the world. Love u all loads and loads..xxx Anyway, jo and koky are coming down this weekend, and nolly's coming back on sat evening. Sunday morning's going to be a riot before I fly home in the afternoon..cant wait!!!

arghhh.. now thinking of all the missed deadlines I set for myself just makes me sick. Off to get some fooood and do soemting about it !!