what a day. was in shailey's room hald of yesterdaht, and trying to work at night and actually fell asleep on her extra bed?? my powers of self motivation and control are pathetic it seems when it comes to working and eating i feel in particular. well, they've just gone out for some ben and jerry's and im already slacking off. sometimes like i could just kick myself.

on another note, maybe its the blue sky or that trashy cosmo magazine i read. but he keeps entering my thoughts. dont know what to think sometimes. sometimes i just shudder in self disgust and try my best to shove those thoughts out of my mind, but they jsut keep resurfacing, like a recurring nightmare. that drags on, and on...
dont know if i will ever get over it. i think i will in time, but its now that i need it out of head. now more than ever. it used to be all consuming. now ive improved, oh please help me free up more brainspace for what i have to learn

addie: yes girl, thanks thanks. really miss u guys just being right next door. how to call u if ever, no phone.. that b******. next time go pick on someone ur own size, not some ASIAN girl who needs her phone and her friends*****