dont know whats wrong with me. imk worried sick about my exma,s and yet i cant get myself to sit down an do work. thhis week has been hectic so far. runnoing out late, hair streaking behind to the bustop, trying to mak eit o 10 aldermary square before 9am. this moring it was raining, and i was late. it was so embarrasing walking into the boardroom, snekaing i thru the back , attempting to look inconsicous, when everyone knew i was 5 mins late. been a revealing week, in terms of peopel i met and the people i met before. sometimes i think im too easy. i am lousy a t concelaing my emotions, whenim happy, its soeasy totell, when im angry, it soeasy to tell, when im upset or just disppointed in myself, it so obvious. osmetimes i wish i could act all cool, emotionless, and posh. maybe it jsut is more attractive to more people, and i wont feel like such a jerk or loser when people know exactly i feel.

ive jsut spent 45mins meaninglyessly surfing. its scary i think. sometimes i really dont know where im spinning my life into. its a miserable feeling i assure you. its grat to know, there are people watching out for me and freinds who will love me no matter what. but when it comes to the crux, youre always on your own to face whatever insurmountable onstacle you are destined to face. and you face it alone.